I wish all therapy appointments were created equal. This would make life a little more straightforward… Something like, “Come to 4 sessions. And. Poof! Everything will be fixed.” It’s not that easy though. This got me to thinking, “how can our patients get the most out of their therapy appointment?”
After a little research and thinking, I came up with the following tips.
Set proper expectations and talk about it
If you’ve been dealing with a problem or a concern for a while, like more than a few years, it’s likely going to take some time to process, understand, and heal. This usually means it won’t be a “one time” therapy visit.
If you have expectations, or something specific you want to get out of therapy, it’s important to share that with your therapist to make sure it’s validated and addressed. If there’s a relationship you want restored, it’s important to recognize the steps in that process. It probably won’t be something that happens overnight. If you want to “feel better” about life, it’s critical to identify exactly what you can point to that will help you feel that way.
Understand who has to do the work
As talented as many therapists are, they aren’t really the ones doing the work. Sure, they’re there to help, facilitate, and support. But, you’re the one that has to do the work outside of the session. You can ask all the questions, get all the advice, and share all the vulnerable feelings, but you are the one that has to go through the restoration process.
Don’t hold back
We see this time and time again and I wish it wasn’t so. When you come to therapy, be brutally honest with your therapist. They are only able to help you as much as you let them. But, if you hold back or don’t share what’s really bothering you or get to thet bottom of your real feelings, you shouldn’t expect to truly heal. Don’t hold back! Tell your therapist everything. You shouldn’t be there trying to impress him or her. The point is to get better. This takes brutal honesty. That’s how the healing happens.
Embrace what you discuss and learn
Patients who get the most out of therapy understand that they are coming to therapy to learn. Learn how to manage emotions, how to navigate complicated situations, how to cope, how to grieve. They’re coming to discuss their situation and learn from it. Often times, patients skip the learning and think therapy is about sharing feelings and that’s it. There’s so much to learn about yourself, about what you can tolerate, about what you like, about what you want, how you work. You have to really take a step back and embrace that process. Learn from the therapist and learn how to best to handle life.
What have you done to maximize your therapy experience? We’re curious and wanting to learn ourselves! Please share.
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